I'm just simply bored

The wonders of a teleserye

2004-11-20T01:19:00.000-08:00

Many of us watch teleseryes because we can relate to it, some watch because of the overly dramatic plot. But come to think of it, a teleserye may be over dramatic but you can be sure that after all the drama, there is always a happy ending. But in life, nobody's quite sure what will happen at the end of the road, will it be a success which includes love and happiness, or will it be a disappointment? Right now, I am scared of what the journey will be for me...

As I spend my day alone without the company of my friends and family, I realize that I really am lonely. Sometimes I want to have the teleserye plot wherein no matter how hard challenges may be, there is always someone there loving you and that even if the kontrabidas try to kill you, you'll always manage to survive. I am not sure of what I 'm feeling but I know for a fact that I can't rely on my friends for happiness. Even if I love them as much as I love myself, it wouldn't promise the reciprocation from them. But whatever I'm feeling right now, I know that I 'll get passed it, I just hope it'll end soon because I don't think I can survive feeling this kind of sadness.

Friends?

2004-10-21T07:44:00.001-07:00

I don't know why I get so down because of my friends..I'm really confused as to how friendship works..I know that friends are supposed to be there for each other through good and bad but why is it that friends are the ones who lets me down... I am an over-sensitive person and I easily get hurt.. It seems as if a certain friend would not even think of how I feel. I just hope that people would be reminded of how the hearts connect when two people become friends and it hurts to think that even if you care so much for someone, they won't neccessarily care for you...

Friends?

2004-10-21T07:44:00.000-07:00

bad day...

2004-10-19T04:56:00.000-07:00

Today is such a lousy day... I can't believe after a day of perfect bliss yesterday would end up a bad day today. I am now realizing that maybe I'm not meant to be happy and as much as I would love to think that there are people who really do care for me, maybe there isn't really anybody... I am lonely... For such a long time I have been but there are occassions when I'm on a positively high note because something good happens to me.. How does one truly say that she is happy? Maybe I just tend to expect more than what I really deserve. I sometimes think that I am a god person and that I am the type of person who wouldn' t even dare to hurt someone's feelings but why do I get the feeling that everybody thinks otherwise. Maybe I am not who I think I am and for that, I never ever wll be happy.. I have lost control of every thing that I have and every thing that I feel... I give up.. If I'm meant to be sad..there isn't really anything I could do about it.. I hate my life..

Relationships...

2004-09-21T23:52:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine broke up with his boyfriend because he found out that her boyfriend kissed another girl. The guy even made up a lame excuse that he didn't want to be kissed but the girl kind of forced it on him... My friend is now such a mess.... she really loves his boyfriend and she gave up on him just because of a simple kiss... I know that sometimes a simple thing like a kiss could break a relationship but they've been a couple for almost 5 years...It seems such a shame that they would just throw what they have just because of a kiss... I know that I'm not making sense right now but I just see how hurt my friend is and it hurts me to see her like this.. I don't know the rules of a relationship but I know that it sometimes takes pride in order to forgive.. I think she needs to give her boyfriend another chance cozx she sure is hell suffering now...

I really don't know what to do right now... I want so much to help them get back together but the guy wouldn't even admit that it's his fault... he also wants to get back with my friend but it just breaks his heart to know that the trust is gone and its not even his fault but the other girl's...He doesn't want to earn her trust back because he believes that it shouldn't have been lost... He said that he pulled away and he even told her the truth so why should she blame him for it..

I don't know, but what I do know is that I wouldn't just throw away something dear to me... being in a relationship would require compromise from both ends...

Family or friends???

2004-09-21T01:51:00.000-07:00

I had an argument with my mom.. She said that I was prioritizing my friends too much that I don't give importance to my family anymore... I just think that it's soo unfair for her to say that. First of all, I am not the type of person who is expressive and mushy so I may not be expressive of how much I love them but I really do. Next is that I have a lot of things to do apart from my family and friends..I have to study and I have loads of projects to start on... I don't think that they should put the pressure on me that I don't care coz when they do that, I really get hurt.. I can't promise to always be present during family reunions or family dinners or family sundays but I promise to do the best that I can to go to these things coz I find them important... Argghhhh! I'm so frustrated...and the thing is I haven't seen my High school friends for a loong time, so is it wrong to have drinks with them for a couple of hours??

Drinks and good conversation!:)

2004-09-21T01:43:00.000-07:00

I really love my barkada!!! We went out for drinks the other day and I realized just how much I missed them! We haven't seen each other for quite a long time coz of school and all and when we saw each other it seems as if we've just seen each other yesterday.. no awkwardness...no pretenses... just drinks and good conversation! :) To my friends: Thanks for always being there...even if we don't see each other that much, I know that we'll always be there for each other...I love you guys sooo much! CHEERS! :)

Sum deep thoughts...

2004-09-13T08:20:00.000-07:00

I'm just wondering...when will I ever find love? Most of the time I feel like I'm settling with what I have..how will I really know when decisions to make in order to make the right one? Am I supposed to hurt my best friend and break up with him just because I know that he isn't the one? or would I settle with him because he's always there to make me smile and I'm 100 % comfortable with him? I dunno... I know that I miss the tingly feeling of falling in love but would I give up the love that I'm all too familiar with for it? o well...some deep thoughts...